10 Questions That Could Shape Your Health and Your Future: Knowing Family History Matters

When was the last time you asked your parents about their childhood and health or about those who came before them? These conversations aren’t just about nostalgia—they’re crucial for protecting your health, planning your future, and preparing for the possible need for long-term care.

Asking about family health history—or even family history in general—can stir up deep emotions, especially for older adults. These conversations often bring memories of loved ones lost to illness or painful moments they’ve spent years trying to move past.

For some, talking about health struggles may feel like confronting their own vulnerability or mortality. Others may carry guilt, shame, or fear about passing certain conditions to their children or grandchildren.

Cultural norms, past traumas, or generational habits of keeping personal matters private can also make it difficult to open up. What may seem like a simple question can be a doorway to grief, regret, or long-buried truths, and that’s why many older adults hesitate to share.

Sometimes the silence around family health isn’t forgetfulness—it’s protection. Sometimes these cultural norms have taught many to keep painful or embarrassing stories hidden. But in breaking that silence, we give the next generation the power to understand, to prepare, and to heal.

Why Your Family Health History Matters

Kate Orland, MS, CGC, a genetic counselor with UW Health’s Inherited Arrhythmias Clinic, says understanding your family history is the best way to learn about what might potentially impact your health down the road.

Orland says our genes tell a story—and so do your parents. Understanding the illnesses and conditions that run in your family gives your doctor valuable insight into your potential health risks, allowing you to take proactive steps to protect your well-being and possibly prevent future problems.

It may or may not make a difference, but family history can be a really powerful indicator, particularly in cancer risk and cardiovascular disease. You don’t know until you ask.

Many experts agree that knowing family history helps people make smarter healthcare and financial choices earlier before a crisis forces their hand.

Some conditions—like heart disease, diabetes, Alzheimer's, and certain cancers—often run in families.

Having this information can:

• Help your physician recommend earlier screenings or lifestyle changes.
• Influence your eligibility or premiums for long-term care insurance.
• Give you more control over how you age.

Start with These 10 Questions

Use these questions as conversation starters with your parents or grandparents. Make the time. Perhaps record them. You’ll gain more than information—you’ll gain connection.

1. What do you know about our ancestors?

Ask what they know about grandparents, great-grandparents, and beyond. Focus on where they lived, what illnesses they had, and how they died.

2. What was your childhood like?

Understanding their upbringing can provide context for mental and physical health issues that may have affected the family.

3. How did our family end up living here?

Relocation stories often reveal environmental or economic influences that shaped their lives—and sometimes health.

4. What traditions did our family observe?

Cultural habits may influence diet, activity, or health beliefs. These can help explain certain patterns in your family’s health.

5. Who were the most influential people in our family?

Ask about role models, and pay attention to any patterns of resilience—or inherited challenges like addiction or depression.

6. What were the toughest times our family faced?

Family traumas like war, job loss, or illness often have long-term effects. Understanding them builds empathy and insight.

7. Do we have any keepsakes or mementos?

Photos, letters, or medical records can reveal health histories or forgotten stories. These pieces can help you to research your family tree.

8. Are there any family secrets or mysteries?

You might discover unknown siblings, adoptions, or illnesses that were never spoken about. Each detail can be valuable.

9. What did your parents and grandparents do for work?

Occupations may hint at health risks—exposure to chemicals, stress, or physically demanding jobs.

10. What would you like future generations to know?

This question honors your parents’ legacy and ensures their stories—and the lessons within—live on.

Family History and the Risk of Alzheimer’s and Dementia

Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia are among the most common reasons older adults need long-term care. According to the Alzheimer’s Association, nearly 7 million Americans live with Alzheimer’s, and that number is projected to double by 2050. Your family history plays a significant role in determining your personal risk—but it’s not the whole story.

How Family History Affects Risk

If a parent or sibling has Alzheimer’s, your chances of developing it roughly double. This is known as familial risk, and it's often due to shared genetics and lifestyle factors.

There are two main types of Alzheimer’s:

• Early-onset familial Alzheimer’s disease (EOFAD) – This rare form runs strongly in families and typically appears between ages 30 and 60. It’s linked to specific genetic mutations and accounts for less than 5% of cases.
• Late-onset Alzheimer’s – This is the most common form and typically affects people after age 65. One gene, APOE-e4, is known to increase risk, but it's not deterministic. You can have the gene and never get Alzheimer’s—or not have the gene and still develop it.

“Genetics load the gun, but lifestyle pulls the trigger,” said ​Dr. Daniel Amen.

Genetics may predispose individuals to certain conditions, but personal behavior and environment are crucial in determining health outcomes. Knowing your family history allows you to start making changes now that can lower your odds.

What If There’s No Known Family History?

No family history doesn’t mean you’re in the clear. Alzheimer’s and dementia can still develop due to:

• Age (the biggest risk factor overall)
• Head injuries
• Heart disease or stroke
• Lack of exercise or poor diet
• Social isolation
• Unmanaged chronic conditions like diabetes or hypertension

In some cases, a family history may simply be unknown—especially if previous generations were misdiagnosed, undiagnosed, or reluctant to discuss mental decline.

Why Knowing Still Matters

Whether or not you have a known family history, being proactive is key. If dementia is part of your family history, you and your doctor can take earlier action:

• Monitor cognitive health starting in your 50s.
• Build habits that support brain health.
• Consider planning for extended care well before symptoms appear.

A diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or other cognitive decline is one of the most common triggers for long-term care. People with dementia often require years of supervision or full-time care, which can be financially devastating without a plan.

Your health insurance and even Medicare will not pay for dementia care since they only pay for short-term skilled care. LTC Insurance will pay for these services for someone with an LTC policy. Medicaid will as well for anyone with limited financeal resources.

The long-term care services you or a loved one may need are expensive, and those costs are rising sharply, which is one reason to understand your family health history.

The LTC News survey of the costs of long-term care services will help you understand the current and projected costs of memory care services in your area—costs that can exceed $8,000 per month in many U.S. cities.

Sidebar: 6 Ways to Lower Dementia Risk—Even with a Genetic Predisposition

• Get regular aerobic exercise (walking, cycling, swimming)
• Eat a brain-healthy diet (like the Mediterranean or MIND diet)
• Manage chronic health issues (high blood pressure, diabetes)
• Stay socially and mentally active (volunteering, puzzles, learning)
• Prioritize quality sleep and treat sleep disorders
• Avoid tobacco and limit alcohol

How This Helps You Plan Ahead

Understanding your family health history isn’t just helpful—it’s a vital part of preparing for your future. It can reveal patterns that shed light on your current health and highlight risks you may face down the road, including the likelihood of needing long-term care.

Knowing your family health history isn’t just about the past—it’s a way of honoring it. It’s the roadmap that helps you understand where you’ve come from, and more importantly, how to take care of where you’re going. It’s not always easy to ask, but the answers could shape the choices that protect your future—and the people you love.

If a parent, sibling, or grandparent required extended care due to a chronic condition, your chances of needing similar support are higher, making early planning all the more important.

Guide Your Medical Strategy

When your doctor knows about chronic illnesses or genetic risks in your family, they can recommend earlier or more frequent screenings.

For example:

• If multiple relatives had colon cancer, your doctor may suggest a colonoscopy before age 45.
• If your family has a history of dementia, your physician might assess cognitive health earlier and more often.
• If heart disease runs in your family, lifestyle interventions can be started sooner—before symptoms ever show up.

By spotting issues early, you’re more likely to maintain your independence longer and reduce your chances of needing extended care later.

Make Informed Long-Term Care Decisions

Knowing your health risks helps you plan for the kind of extended care you may need—whether that’s in-home help, assisted living, or full-time nursing care.

This can influence key decisions such as:

• When to buy Long-Term Care Insurance – Premiums are lower, and eligibility is easier when you're younger and healthier. If you have a strong family history of diabetes, it might be best to obtain coverage before you get diagnosed since the premium would be lower.
• How much coverage to get – If your family has a history of Alzheimer’s or stroke, you may want policies that have larger benefits, even unlimited long-term care benefits.

A real-world example:

Michelle, 58, from Missouri, knew her mother had early-onset Alzheimer’s. She used this knowledge to secure an affordable Long-Term Care Insurance policy in her 40s—well before any symptoms.

It gave me peace of mind knowing I wouldn’t burden my kids the way my mom’s care burdened me.

Protect Your Finances—and Your Family

The average cost of long-term care can exceed $140,000 per year today, depending on the level and location of care, according to the LTC News Cost of Care Calculator.

Without an LTC Insurance policy, these costs can quickly drain savings, force the sale of assets, or create emotional and financial stress for your loved ones.

By discussing family health history:

• You can make realistic financial plans.
• You’ll avoid the mistake many families make—waiting until after a diagnosis or crisis when insurance options are limited or no longer available.
• You empower your family to focus on quality of life and emotional support rather than scrambling for care or funds.

Shape Your Aging Journey

Finally, knowing what your parents and grandparents went through can help you shape a different path. Maybe it’s prioritizing exercise after seeing your father suffer from mobility issues. Or it’s creating an advance directive and choosing care preferences after watching your grandmother lose her voice in care decisions.

The goal isn’t to live in fear of what could happen—but to take control of what can happen. Knowing your family's story helps you write your own.

You can’t stop aging, but you can steer how you age. Family history gives you the roadmap.