Don’t Do That! Things to Avoid as a Caregiver

If you find yourself suddenly in the role of being a caregiver, you must consider your needs and those of the care recipient. Caregiving is physically and emotionally demanding. What happens when you need care decades from now?
Updated: March 30th, 2021
James Kelly

Contributor

James Kelly

You might not expect it, but you often become a caregiver for a parent or loved one with little notice. The timing may not be good; you have your career, your family, other responsibilities. Suddenly, a crisis occurs, and you must become a caregiver despite not being prepared or trained. 

Yes, being a family caregiver isn't easy. It is physically demanding. It can be very emotional as well. Many family caregivers suffer from anxiety and other forms of depression. The pressure of balancing the needs of being a caregiver with your career and family is overwhelming for many people.

What to do? There are a few things you do not want to do. 

Things to Not Do as a Caregiver

In a study published in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine, "Quality of life: impact of chronic illness on the partner," the authors stated: "… the most striking research finding is a tendency for the partner's quality of life to be worse than that of the patient."

Writing in KevinMD.com, Toni Bernhard the author of How to Be Sick: Your Pocket Companion and other books, points out six things you should not do as a caregiver. Here are two of the six:

  1. DO NOT shy away from sharing with others that you've become a caregiver. The reluctance to tell others about this life-changing, high-stress event is particularly prevalent among men. Toni writes it's good to share your experience noting the cliché, "Troubles shared are troubles halved." 
  2. DO NOT pretend that everything is like it used to be; you need time to grieve the loss of your old life. Toni writes that there is a drastic change in your life becoming a caregiver, and it can be a shock. 

Your Future – Is Your Family Ready?

If you have not become a caregiver, you might in the future. Think for a moment about how your need for long-term health care would impact your family in the future. What would the consequences be on your loved ones if they had to become your caregiver?

You cannot depend on family and your finances; are you prepared to pay for the high costs of paid care services? The costs of long-term care services and supports are expensive and continue to increase every year.

The LTC NEWS Cost of Care Calculator shows you these costs, both for today and in the future. You need a plan, and you need a plan now - before your health changes.

For many Americans, affordable Long-Term Care Insurance is the solution. You can avoid dependency on your family and safeguard income and assets from the costs and burdens of getting older.

Be sure to seek professional assistance when you start researching available options. An experienced and trusted Long-Term Care Insurance specialist will help you navigate the options and factor your age, health, and family history in finding the most affordable and comprehensive options. 

As for your role of being a caregiver - be sure you seek help from your family and friends. Don't place the entire responsibility on yourself. It is not good for you, as the caregiver - nor is it good for the person you are caring for - the care recipient. 

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