Siblings Disagree with Parent’s Care Needs – What to Do?

Siblings will often disagree on how best to care for Mom and Dad. Family finds themselves in a crisis without direction or resources. There are ways to make the crisis easier and help avoid your family going into crisis in the future.
Updated: December 30th, 2020
James Kelly

Contributor

James Kelly

Every day an American family goes into crisis. Mom or Dad needs long-term care due to an ongoing illness, accident, or just because of aging. There is a crisis because Mom or Dad didn't have a plan in place for long-term health care. The fallout of that decision falls on their adult children. Often, there are disagreements between the siblings as to what to do next.

The family quickly finds out they are on their own. Health insurance, including Medicare and Medicare supplements, will not pay for any long-term custodial care - the type of care most of us will need at some point. Their parent's health insurance or Medicare plan will only pay for a limited amount of skilled care. Unless they happen to have Long-Term Care Insurance, the responsibility falls on the family or finances, or both. 

Important Papers Often Unavailable

The family will hopefully have the proper powers of attorney and access to all documents and financial information. Sometimes the parents fail to have this discussion with their children. In some cases, the parents failed to plan anything.

Generally, the sibling that lives the closest will be in charge. This person may not, however, be in a position to provide care. It is not uncommon that the family will disagree on how to provide the care. There will be questions on how to best use - or not use - their parent's assets. The quality of care will come into question. Will paid care services be sought, or will one sibling take responsibility to provide the care?

Carol Bradley Bursack, a well-known author, speaker, columnist, and eldercare consultant, says a family meeting should be one of the first things to happen. She says it will give the entire family the ability to have input on the decision making. 

Case Managers Helpful

Since few people have a good understanding of long-term care and caregiving, Bursack recommends hiring a geriatric care manager (GCM). GCMs will not provide care, but they develop an appropriate plan-of-care and coordinate all aspects of it.

She has other recommendations, which you can find by clicking here.

You can avoid this type of crisis when you get older and require extended care by planning and communicating. Many American families have found affordable Long-Term Care Insurance to be an outstanding solution.

LTC Insurance Can Make Your Aging Easier

Don't place your family in a crisis without direction or resources. Long-Term Care Insurance is not only easy and affordable to put in place; it will provide a clear plan for resources to pay for the type of quality care you want or need. You will have guaranteed tax-free benefits. You and your family will have a choice of quality care, either in-home care or a variety of facilities, depending on your needs. An LTC policy eliminates much of the crisis since the only consideration will be your needs and preferences, not which family member will provide care or which account they will have to drain to pay for care.  

Long-term care costs are increasing every year, and LTC Insurance will safeguard your income and assets so you can maintain your lifestyle and legacy. However, LTC Insurance is medically underwritten and priced, in part, on your age when you obtain coverage. The best age to purchase Long-Term Care Insurance, according to many experts, is in your 40s or 50s when you still enjoy good health.

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