Do we choose our lifestyle? Or is lifestyle something that happens to us as a result of our culture and circumstances? Many would say it can be - or should be - the former, and they are choosing their lifestyle deliberately. This includes DINKs: dual-income, no kids.
DINK lifestyle has become a lifestyle movement that has grown in awareness and popularity in the last couple decades.
What are its pros? Its cons? What’s the benefit to you personally in considering this type of child-free lifestyle? Let’s find out.
What Does DINK Stand For?
DINK stands for Dual Income, No Kids. Sometimes it’s also referred to as Double Income, No Kids. It refers to households with a married (or cohabitating) couple that does not have any kids.
Those are the basics. The ways in which DINK can become a lifestyle are myriad.
For additional reference, there are some related acronyms listed below:
- DINKWAD - dual income, no kids, with a dog
- DINO - dual income, no options
- DEWK - dually employed with kids
We’re going to be focusing on DINKs in this article, but if you ever see those others, now you know what they mean!
What Is a DINK Lifestyle?
As the name implies, DINK lifestyle is that of couples who both maintain a steady income and don’t have children.
The “lifestyle” portion of the phrase refers to the many luxury and travel industries that have cropped up to market themselves to DINKs, since the implication is that they have more free time, more wealth, and a willingness to spend that wealth on luxuries.
That view of DINKs isn’t always true, but it’s uncontroversial to say that many choose a DINK lifestyle for the lifestyle and financial freedoms it can bring.
Not to be confused with, say, new graduates who don’t yet have kids, DINK generally implies an intent not to have children. Obviously anyone can change their mind about this decision at any point, but the lifestyle markers that have cropped up around DINKs are for those who intend to live their lives without children.
The term has been long-known in the non-profit world, because DINKs have more money to donate than the average couple. Many not-for-profit organizations will use demographic data to attempt to target DINKs for fundraising purposes.
We’ll talk in more details about benefits below, but already you can likely see why this has become a lifestyle choice for some.
Increase in DINK Couples
The number of adults living without children has risen dramatically in recent decades. The U.S. Census Bureau reports that 71.3% of U.S. adults were living without children as of 2016. This figure is nearly 20% higher than it was in 1967, when it was 52.5% of the adult population.
They note that some of this is due to the average age of marriage increasing. While children can of course occur outside of marriage, the majority are still born in marriages.
Other demographic shifts, such as fertility rates and birth rate, can affect these numbers as well. However, this doesn’t entirely account for the shift, which is one of lifestyle as much as demographic shifts.
Benefits of a DINK Lifestyle
So why would someone choose this lifestyle? There are many potential reasons, but most fall into a handful of larger categories:
- Not Feeling Drawn to Parenthood: While parenthood is an amazing life decision for many, it’s one that others could feel pressured into despite not wanting it for themselves.
- Personal Freedom: Want to move to a new city? Change careers? Large-scale transitions come with less logistical and emotional overhead when it doesn’t put a child at risk or force them through a similar transition.
- Travel: It can be easier to travel more frequently and for longer stretches without children, whose schooling and social needs sometimes outweigh someone’s interest in extended travel.
- Financial Freedom and Money: Just existing in modern society can be expensive. The financial burden of one or more children can put extreme financial and emotional pressures on adults who might struggle to remain financially healthy while raising children.
- Time and Energy: Hobbies, passions, side projects and charitable causes can all receive more of your attention.
That list shouldn’t lead you to believe that a DINK lifestyle is better than its alternatives. There’s no “better” or “worse” that applies to everyone with such decisions. However, these benefits can make it attractive for many.
Downsides to the DINK Lifestyle
Beyond situations where a couple wants children, your relationships with others can change in ways that create challenges. If your friends and family are having children, it can be difficult to relate to them as their lives change in ways that yours do not.
The more obvious downside is that some couples do want children, and so the potential sacrifice of time, money and various other conceptual freedoms can be a worthwhile choice in order to lead a different sort of fulfilling life.
Some sources even cite the large tax credit that children under 17 can bring, though I dare say that while no choice in regard to having children is inherently wrong, a tax refund is probably not the strongest argument for it.
DINKS, Aging and Long-Term Care
This lifestyle can come with many advantages, but it also presents challenges when DINK couples start to experience the consequences of aging. If you end up needing long-term care, this can become especially challenging.
Children act as caregivers for many parents in their old age. Having family as a safety net of sorts if you are injured or develop a debilitating condition can be financially and emotionally beneficial for many. Since DINKs don’t have children, a proactive plan that accounts for care options before they’re needed is crucial.
Long-term care planning for DINKs might include having a care-based budget, consulting with financial or care advisors before care is expected, or considering Long-Term Care Insurance. This last option can also help to protect wealth that many DINK couples enjoy.
Many Long-Term Care Insurance policies offer case management services. This can be just as important as money from the policy itself. Having an advocate to ensure proper care is part of the process too, not simply being financially prepared.
In addition to LTC Insurance, exploring legal tools such as living wills and power of attorney can also help ensure that wishes are respected.
Questions to Ask Yourself When Considering DINK Lifestyle?
So which is right for you? That’s the question that matters, right? What factors should go into the decision?
You’ll have other considerations unique to your life, but here are some things you and your partner can consider in regard to DINK living:
- Is a DINK lifestyle something I want indefinitely, or just right now?
- Do I want to pass along experiences and values to children?
- When I look ahead to the coming years of my life, what does the ideal version of it look like?
- Am I considering children because of family or social circle pressures, or because it’s genuinely what I want for myself? Social norms can provide powerful pressure, but may not be the right reason to make a decision.
- Which lifestyle feels like more of a sacrifice to me?
- Have I communicated my thoughts with my partner and discussed these same questions with them?
- What is our cost of living relative to our income? Can we easily afford the lifestyle choices we're considering? What’s our yearly and monthly budget, and do we need to plan a budget?
There are others, but these can get you started with some questions that will lead you to answers that will allow you to make a more confident decision.
Planning for Your Adventure
An adventurous, amazing DINK lifestyle doesn’t just happen naturally. You have to plan for it and realize that there's work involved in any lifestyle, even ones that eschew work of other kinds.
Here are some ways you can plan with your partner to maximize your fulfillment via this lifestyle:
- Be open and honest in communication about the lifestyle you want to have, and exactly what is involved in this. Some compromise may be necessary to be fulfilling for both members of the couple.
- Make plans, both short-term and long-term. A great, fulfilling lifestyle doesn’t happen quickly or without a plan. Know where you’re headed, and why, and create a plan to execute on that vision.
- Engage in financial planning early: financial independence doesn't happen without foresight and planning, even for childless couples. A young couple considering a DINK lifestyle will still need to plan diligently to be secure in their old age. Higher disposable income is no guarantee of financial stability long-term.
- Understand your limits. For some, DINK living will include more of a homebody life, so to speak. Maybe home improvement or gardening projects are where your passions lie. Or maybe it’s a faster lifestyle of travel and entertainment. Regardless, taking the wrong approach can be as damaging as choosing the wrong lifestyle for your goals and values.
As the statistics bear out, more and more people are choosing to live as DINKs, and finding fulfillment in their choice. Regardless of whether or not it’s right for you, and knowing that it's a personal choice only you can make for your life, you should now have a better sense of what it is and whether or not it’s worth your consideration.