As we push the limits of longevity and more people begin to live longer, many families find themselves caring for their aging parents. The CDC reported that there were over 53 million family caregivers in the United States in 2020, and this number is expected to grow as the aging population increases.
To add to the problem, traditional health insurance plans and Medicare only cover short-term skilled care, not long-term care or help with daily living activities. This means unless someone has LTC Insurance or qualifies for Medicaid, loved ones have to step in to fill the gaps.
Many family caregivers aren’t paid for their care and often have to work full-time jobs on top of all their responsibilities. As you can imagine, maintaining this schedule long-term can be stressful and outright exhausting.
As a result, many family caregivers experience prolonged stress about their caregiving situation, often leading to a condition known as caregiver burnout. If this sounds familiar, you’re in the right place. Today, we want to share seven strategies to help you manage caregiver burnout. We’ll also discuss the signs of caregiver burnout, as well as what causes it.
What Is Caregiver Burnout?
Caregiver burnout is a state of exhaustion usually brought on by caring for a loved one long-term. Many individuals who find themselves helping regularly with an aging loved one experience caregiver burnout.
Caregiver burnout can manifest in several ways, including stress, physical or mental exhaustion, anxiety, depression, or other adverse symptoms. This is a common problem, affecting many informal caregivers, especially those working full-time on top of their caregiving duties.
In fact, according to the American Psychological Association, 32.9% of unpaid caregivers reported anxiety, depression, or substance use in the previous 30 days before participating in the study. In addition, 66.6% reported at least one negative behavioral or mental health symptom.
Individuals who experience caregiver burnout may feel physically, emotionally, and mentally tired. Once these feelings set in, they're difficult to recover from. Caregivers may find themselves in feedback loops where they're too tired to complete all their tasks, so more tasks pile up, creating more stress, which tires them out even more.
It can be an incredibly difficult and long process for caregivers to regain previous energy levels and get back to a state of normalcy. Luckily, there are many ways to treat caregiver burnout. One of the first steps is learning more about what exactly causes the condition.
What Causes Caregiver Burnout?
Caregiver burnout happens when we overextend ourselves to meet the needs of others. Each person has a different threshold of how long they can go or how many responsibilities they can take on; however, everyone reaches their capacity at some point.
Long-term lack of rest or personal care time combined with an exhausting amount of caregiving tasks and workload often results in caregiver burnout. Individuals with underlying health conditions or those prone to mental health ailments may become burnt out faster than others as well.
Caregiver burnout isn't caused by just one thing; it happens when many things compound, making responsibilities harder to cope with.
Here are a few things that may make you more likely to experience caregiver burnout, including:
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Living with the loved one you're caring for.
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Financial stress, strain, or instability.
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Loss of personal time due to caregiving duties.
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A feeling of isolation or loneliness brought on by caregiving burdens.
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Unclear boundaries and expectations around your role as a caregiver vs. a family member.
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Poor, passive-aggressive, or unclear communication.
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A lack of outside help or guidance.
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Taking on more work and caregiving than you can manage.
Signs and Symptoms of Caregiver Burnout
Caregiver burnout doesn’t look the same for everyone, especially since we all express ourselves differently. However, there are a few tell-tale symptoms of burnout that you can look out for:
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Disrupted sleep. You may be sleeping a lot more or a lot less than usual or waking up less rested than usual.
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Irritability. Little things may annoy you more than usual, or you might find yourself getting upset over things that don't normally upset you. You may feel easily angered or overwhelmed.
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Appetite. Your eating habits or appetite might change, causing you to eat more or less than usual. Some people may start eating unhealthy foods as a coping mechanism. Others might lose their appetite altogether due to stress.
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Headaches. You may experience headaches more frequently.
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Pain. Your body may feel sore or tense from prolonged stress or overworking yourself.
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Physical exhaustion. It may feel hard to get out of bed in the morning or doing small tasks may feel more exhausting than usual. You may have less energy overall.
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Depressive symptoms. You may lose interest in activities you previously enjoyed. Some people may experience feelings of hopelessness or feeling overburdened and overwhelmed by responsibilities.
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Guilt. Many caregivers wish they could take a break but feel guilty about these feelings.
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Denial. As a coping mechanism, many caregivers don't realize or won't admit just how stressful their situation is or how their lives have changed due to caregiving responsibilities.
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Addiction. Some people may turn to gambling, drinking, or substance use as a coping mechanism.
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Isolation. Many caregivers aren't able to spend as much time as they used to with friends and family. Others may isolate themselves by choice because they're worried about being a burden. Either way, isolation can cause loneliness and contribute to feelings of depression or anxiety.
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Decline in performance at work. The stress of caregiving can cause you to miss hours at work or feel less motivated or focused while you're taking on tasks for the day.
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Lowered immune system. Prolonged stress is known to weaken the immune system, which may cause you to get sick more often or for longer than usual.
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Resentment. You may hold resentment towards the person you're caring for or towards others for not helping, or general anger towards the world and your life circumstances.
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Compassion fatigue. You may feel emotionally drained and out of empathy or compassion despite still wanting to be there for your loved one.
7 Strategies to Manage Caregiver Burnout
So you’ve learned what caregiver burnout is, what causes it, and how burnout can manifest in everyday life. But what can you do to recover from burnout or mitigate symptoms?
Below, we've put together a list of seven ways you can manage caregiver burnout and create more balance and stability in your life despite your responsibilities.
ONE – Accept and Ask For Help From Friends and Family
One of the best ways to improve caregiver burnout is to accept help when offered and ask for help when you need it. Many of us struggle with feeling guilty about asking others to help us when we're in need.
We may not want to burden our friends or family with caregiving responsibilities, even if it means burdening ourselves. Other times, we may worry that our friends or family won't provide care the way we do and could end up making our job harder in the long run.
Almost every caregiver has these concerns, but just because these doubts are normal doesn't mean you should refuse help when offered. In fact, accepting and asking for help is the key to feeling more centered in our lives.
If someone is offering you help, make sure to first thank them for their offer and let them know how much you appreciate it. If what they're offering is something you need help with, then accept it and discuss a plan with them.
If you want help, but not with what they've offered to help with, then try to suggest something else that they could do instead. This lets them know what the best way to help you is, and still ensures that you're reducing your workload.
If no one has offered you help, it can feel incredibly scary to take the first step of asking others in your life to support you. Just know that those who care about you will be more than happy to help you, especially if it means improving your quality of life.
When you're first starting out, try asking for help with small tasks. For example, if the loved one you're caring for needs a lot of emotional support or someone to talk to every day, ask another family member to call or visit them on a regular basis.
Even something as small as a phone call or visit once a week can free up a day for you where you're not focused on helping the care recipient.
For situations where your loved one needs a lot of hands-on help with daily living activities, it could help to have a friend or family member focus on chores or errands. For example, helping with dishes, laundry, or grocery shopping.
These tasks are something everyone knows how to do. Doing the smaller tasks helps friends and family help you without putting them in an unfamiliar caregiving situation.
TWO – Look into Professional Caregiving Options
If your friends and family aren't able to help you, it might be time to consider professional caregiving options. Making the jump from informal caregiving to professional caregivers can be uncomfortable for you and the care recipient, but just because it's new and unknown doesn't mean it's bad.
In fact, the CDC suggests that a few hours of respite care each week can help caregivers reduce stress. But wait a second, what is respite care?
Respite care is when a care recipient receives professional care services instead of help from a family caregiver to give their regular caretaker a break.
There are so many different ways your loved one can receive respite care, including in-home care, adult day care services, or live-in long-term care facilities. And you don't have to stick with just one if it doesn't work well for your loved one.
LTC News can help you find long-term care services with the Care Provider Directory. This tool can help you find the best quality caregivers, home health agencies, senior communities, adult day care centers, assisted living or memory care facilities, rehabilitation centers, or nursing homes in your loved one's area.
Sometimes, the trickiest part about switching to professional caregiving services is figuring out how to bring it up to your loved one. Many caregivers feel guilty about needing a break and worry their loved one may be angry with them for putting them in the hands of professional services.
While it's a delicate conversation, it's important for you to remain firm on your stance. Getting a break and professional help can greatly improve the relationship and your mental health, which will benefit both you and your loved one in the long run.
Your loved one may especially benefit from a professional primary caregiver and a care team. These healthcare professionals often have new advice or personalized recommendations to help manage health conditions.
Professional care options such as adult day care centers or assisted living facilities may help your loved one break out of their daily routine and meet new people. Often, older adults struggle with loneliness or isolation, especially those confined to their homes due to long-term care needs. Receiving care in a community setting and connecting with others can have a positive effect on emotional health and help them fulfill their social needs.
THREE – Set Realistic Goals and Focus On What You CAN Do
One of the biggest reasons caregivers feel overwhelmed is because of their seemingly never-ending tasks. One way to mitigate that is to reassess your situation and create realistic expectations of what you can get done in a day.
There are many ways to go about setting realistic expectations. One example is writing down everything that "should" get done in one day and then picking which tasks are absolutely necessary and possible with the time constraints of the day.
What's important here is to get a feeling of accomplishment from each day. If you can end each day knowing you completed the necessary tasks, it may help you feel more optimistic and less overwhelmed about your overall workload.
Knowing exactly what to expect of yourself each day also eliminates the gray area of feeling like you should be doing more with your day. It's likely that if you're burnt out, you're already doing more than enough.
It may also help to have a conversation with your loved one about what they can expect from you. One of the biggest problems leading to caregiver burnout is role confusion, where there are no clearly defined lines between your role as a caregiver and as a loved one.
Make sure your loved one and you know exactly what you’re comfortable helping with as a caregiver. You're allowed to do less for them if the amount of work is weighing on you. Be sure to let them know that you still care about them and want to be there for them, but you need to be there for them in a way that works for both of you.
In some cases, you're not able to reduce your workload or create smaller expectations. In these situations, getting help from friends and family or professional caregiving services may be the only solution.
FOUR – Make Lifestyle Adjustments
When we work full-time, have a family, and care for our loved ones, sometimes it's literally impossible to get everything done in the day. That's where adjustments to your or your loved one's lifestyle and routine can come in handy.
While some areas are impossible to cut out, others may be able to take a hit. For example, daily and weekly chores like grocery shopping, dishes, or cleaning could be redistributed around your household. Maybe a significant other could chip in more around the house, or maybe you could use delivery services to grocery shop for you or your loved one.
Ask for adjustments at work as well; for example, ask for some leeway on hours or schedules. If you do office work, maybe you could start doing a day or two working from home, saving you a commute a few times a week. In other cases, you might be able to negotiate a 10-hour work day, four days a week, instead of the standard 8-hour day, five days a week.
Some employers also offer protected paid or unpaid leave, which you can use for your caregiving responsibilities. Other employers might let you temporarily reduce your hours so you can take more time for yourself and your other responsibilities. No matter the case, it's important to ask your workplace what your options are.
The loved one you're caring for could also make lifestyle adjustments. They could move closer to you, so it's less of a commute for you. If you already live with the care recipient, then you could schedule a time apart or create "safe spaces" within the house where you can go if you need time away from your loved one.
These small adjustments can make life feel more manageable and give you a sense of control in undefined situations.
FIVE – Join a Caregiver Support Group
One of the best and often underutilized ways to cope with caregiver burnout is to join a caregiver support group. In this group, you can talk with other caregivers about your experiences, create meaningful connections with new people, and get relief from bottling everything up.
Most importantly, support groups give you an opportunity to spend time with those who not only understand you but often have advice to help you with your situation. From there, you can create lasting connections and join a support network of friends who you can rely on when you're having a rough time.
Many cities and states have local resources dedicated to helping informal caregivers get the support they need. Check your state or town's website to find out where and when local support groups are happening around you.
SIX – Keep Up With Your Physical and Emotional Health
When we're focused on taking care of everyone else, it can be easy to lose track of our own health. In fact, according to a study from AARP, around 23% of informal caregivers say their caregiving duties have made their health worse.
Keeping up with regular doctor appointments, check-ups, and our own underlying conditions is just as important as helping our loved ones. For example, if you have joint or back pain, getting physical therapy and resting is just as important for you as it is for the person you're caring for.
You can only show up for your loved one as much as you show up for yourself. If you're feeling tired and stressed, having physical or emotional issues on top of that will only tire you out more.
As for emotional needs, participating in a group yoga session or other relaxing activity each week could help you release stress, get some light exercise, stretch, and possibly make a new friend along the way.
Other options include seeing a therapist each week. Seeing a therapist or counselor can help you get hard topics off your chest, and venting can help you release that negative energy and possibly work on improving your situation.
SEVEN – Use Your Social Network to Your Advantage
With all of our responsibilities, it can be easy to lose touch with old friends or even other family members. Sometimes, there’s so much piled up that we don’t go out to social gatherings or stop reaching out to those we enjoy spending time with.
Regardless, your social network is vital to your mental health. Going out for a quick drink or lunch with a friend could get you out of the house and, more importantly, out of caregiver mode and back to your normal self.
Talking and laughing with your friends is vital to feeling better. Plus, your friends are there for emotional support during times of stress and may offer helpful advice about your situation.
Caregiver Burnout: Taking Care of Yourself
Caregiver burnout occurs when we're experiencing prolonged stress from caregiving duties on top of other work and family responsibilities. It's very common for caregivers to feel burnt out. Symptoms may include feeling overwhelmed or trapped by responsibilities, guilt about needing a break, and increased irritability or feelings of depression.
Luckily, there are several things you can do to help improve caregiver burnout, including taking a break, asking for help, seeking support through groups or friends, and making lifestyle adjustments.
Even if drastic change isn't possible given your circumstances, it's vital to treat caregiver burnout seriously because this condition can quickly spiral out of hand. Symptoms of depression or anxiety may worsen with time if left untreated, and eventually, everyone reaches a breaking point after enduring long-term stress.
However, with the proper help and time dedicated to rest, caregivers can recover and return to a state of normalcy again. LTC News has several resources dedicated to helping caregivers. Here are a few other articles to read:
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How To Balance Caregiving Responsibilities and a Career – If you’re struggling to find a balance between caregiving duties and your career, this article offers strategies to help.
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How to Get Paid as a Family Caregiver – Did you know it’s possible to get paid for caring for a loved one? Medicaid or community programs may offer payment for your care services.
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The Long-Term Care Spectrum: From Independent Living to Skilled Nursing – If you’re considering professional caregiving services then consider reading this article to learn about the wide variety of options available for those seeking care.